Do These Guys Really Still Exist?

Honestly, I thought it was a joke website at first, and enjoyed it with much humor...until it dawned on me that this was, in fact, an actual nazi fan-site. National Socialist Movement, or some such thing. Very bizarre. I guess I'm just not enough entrenched in the throes of popular culture to have been aware of these amusing individuals...

Being A Jerk Method...Works Every Time

Being A Jerk Method !

See more like this on kontraband.com

It's impressive to see that they've actually captured my essence on video. Although they forgot the one where I throw the girl over my shoulder and carry them home. Of course, the biggest thing they've missed is that although I am very skilled at the "method", I don't actually make good on it...

Finally, The Perfect Charity

I mean seriously. The article says he will build a public bathroom when he "has enough money to buy more beer." Totally unneccesary. I produce plenty of empty beer bottles on a regular basis! It's like a donation's match made in heaven! And if I have to increase my production of empty beer bottles to support more of these public works projects, so be it. I am *that* committed to seeing this through.
Just the idea of giving so much is making my extremities tingle, my speech slur, and my vision dim.

Brilliant!

The Reverend Joe Pesci

Ah, George Carlin. It's interesting, because so many people I know don't really believe in any god/gods, but very few people will really come out and say "There Is No God". It's like everyone's trying to hedge their bets and come through with just enough deference to that almighty something-or-other to get into the afterlife on a technicality...and so it's almost refreshing to hear somebody just go for it like Carlin does. As with most people, I don't really know where I stand on the issue, but I'm right with him as far as organized religion goes. It's the human institutions that are f-ed up; as to the deities themselves? Who knows...

The Mainstream Media!

I would ordinarily insert my standard rant involving Fox News and the blatant hilarity involved with trying to watch it, but it's sort of redundant by this point.

Drug-Lord Slum Tour! Great For The Whole Family!

I would totally take one of these tours.

And The Show Has Reached A New Low

Once again, I am baffled at the amount of time and creativity sunk into these bizarre and worthless projects.
Did I say worthless? I meant meaningful and glorious! Hooray humans!

White People Like The Ivy League

Ahhh, White People. We sure do like our Ivy League...